It doesn’t fully look like Autumn yet, but it’s beginning to feel like it with the slight chill in the air and the days getting shorter. It feels cozy but not in a lazy kind of way. It feels like newness, inspiration, motivation, new beginnings. Do you feel it? This feeling comes with an energy that rumbles, gets a grip and gnaws at you till it’s put to good use. It feels like an engine revving. I love this feeling, this is when I want to start a million new projects and have to be mindful about what I choose to take on. They all feel exciting, important, and fun.
This is when the minimalist concept I like to play with comes in. I’ve actually updated this to the concept of Essentialism… Where we focus on what is important, what gives the fastest and better results, what has the most meaning, the most value, the most impact, and such… This is one of my growth places for I like complex things, I like to be busy, I like to tackle a lot, and such… I’m known for this in my circles. LOL
But, I recognize non-essentialism and its related pain a mile away now for myself, and others. I’m aware I’m on the spectrum with this, and I like it that way. I’m not shooting for complete, pure essentialism (I might one day, one never knows!). I am though shooting for continued movement towards more sustained ease, peace and joy. And, this is where the pursuit of essentialism holds a lot of promise…
As the new season, back2school, and Q4 are here, these are dangerous times. This is when the revving rears its ugly head. In anticipation, I tackled some of this towards the end of the summer in my writing, posts, sessions, and of course my personal and professional life. But, it’s feeling imminent to be more direct and assertive about it now as I watch those around me being seduced by the allure.
There are a few factors that play out in this magnetism to our demise. We make decisions in a vacuum, we look at each instance on their own merit and not as part of the whole. We make decisions based on our values but still following the more is better approach. We pursue our commitments blind, unprepared, un-resourced, and alone. We take a “spaghetti against the wall” approach when looking for solutions. We react, put out fires, try this and that in an effort to fix issues that are more systemic in nature. We meddle, mingle, dabble without enough knowledge and commitment for our efforts to make a difference. You get the gist. This is a life lived by default… There is no overarching structure, plan, Design…
I’m witness, as I’m sure you are, to people running from one commitment to another. They are double, and triple booked. They squeeze in something into every second of the day. They try to do it all. They say yes to everything. And, even if they don’t they say yes to a whole lot. There is no guiding master plan. There are no in-betweens. There is no just being. There is no milking the moment. There is no ease. There is no flow. There is little inspiration. And, what little inspiration is there it can’t be acted on because there is no room to do so!
Then there is another breed, that might think they don’t fall into the category of the above because they pursue only what they want… But they way overdo that! They end up in the same boat and missing out on other Opportunities…
Where do you fit in? Is your life demanding and you are now recognizing that it’s too full, even of the good stuff? Did you have good intentions of not overdoing it again this season but here you are with a spilling over plate again? Are you so stretched out that you can’t even think straight to begin to remedy the situation? Are you so taxed that you can’t sleep, don’t feel emotionally well, and even physically well? I have seen these people’s lives not pan out as they desired. Their health suffered. Their marriages didn’t make it. Their children were impacted. Does this make any sense, to pursue a full life that ends up being too full for our own good?
Here is where the concept of essentialism can help. Can you get on the spectrum? Can you be curious about the concept? Can you start playing with it? Can you put on the “essentialism lens” and run your decisions through it to prevent overdoing it? Can you take it a step further and use the lens to review your current lifestyle and see what feels like too much, even of a good thing…? Start there. Start by assessing and beginning to get a grip. Then, it’s ok to let this momentum get going, and start streamlining… This is good to entertain. Your Life depends on it!
If you need more support getting a grip on your life and creating the relationship you want, we are here to help. I’d be honored to speak with you about how we can help you. Schedule a get acquainted call to connect and discuss how we can help and how to get started. Look forward to Connecting with you!
In the meantime, wishing you much joy, peace, harmony, love, connection, and FUN in your Journey!
Till Next Time!!
Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT
Personal Growth & Relationship Enrichment Expert
Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship:tm: philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple :tm: content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected:tm: with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.